You probably didn’t know but im still having issues dealing with the death of my Dad (RIP) and his brother – my Uncle Fred (RIP) and wouldn’t want you going through this too so i thought I’d pen a few things down to help whenever the sad time comes.
The death of a loved one is an event that all of us will likely experience during our lifetimes, often on numerous occasions. Whilst lives are often transformed by such loss, it does not necessarily need to be for the worse in the long-term. Dealing effectively and positively with grief caused by such a loss is central to your recovery process and your ability to continue with and fulfill your own life for the better. I have put together some notes in this section to help you understand some of the emotions you are likely to go through after the death of a loved one and to offer some suggestions on how best to cope and deal with these emotions.
What is Grief? Am i Grieving?… I am Grieving.
You’ll grieve in your own unique way, and a general pattern will emerge as you do so. Those around you may be full of ideas about how you’re supposed to grieve, and how not to. You may be told that grief comes in clear-cut stages and may even be given a name for the stage you’re supposedly going through. You may hear advice like “Be strong!” or “Cheer up!” or “Get on with your life!” rather than be encouraged to allow your grief to run its natural course. It’s important for you to be clear that this is your grief, not theirs. You’ll grieve in no one’s way but your own. Grief is about more than your feelings—it will show up in how you think, You may disbelieve this person actually died, You may have episodes of thinking like this even long after they died, Your mind may be confused, your thinking muddled, You may find it difficult to concentrate on just about everything or you may be able to focus your attention but all you can focus on is the one who died, or how they died, or your life together before they died. Some people engage in what’s called “searching behavior”—you look for your loved one’s face among a crowd of people, for instance, even though you know they’ve died. You may become attached to things you associate with your loved one, like wearing an article of their clothing or carrying a keepsake that belonged to them. Or you may wish to avoid all such reminders.
It’s common to feel listless and lifeless, discouraged and sometimes depressed. Other strong emotions can still pop up. This is the winter of your grief—a long, slow, dormant period. In actuality, something is beginning to grow, but it’s hidden deep underground. A time of gradual reawakening eventually occurs, though you can’t always predict when. Energy begins to return. So does hope. Finally there comes a time of renewed life. You’re not the same person you were before—you’ll be different, having been changed by this experience, having grown. You’ll forge a new relationship with the one who died, a relationship that transcends time. This entire process is very fluid. It may not feel very orderly. These time periods will flow into one another almost imperceptibly. But when you look back, you’ll recognize what’s happened: by going all the way through your grief, you’ve taken the path toward your healing.
In all of this some facts stood out that help me keep my balance when i tend to get depressed, i reckon they’ll help you too –
- I am an eternal soul and have the power to live an abundant and meaningful life. All is within me. I feel secure, protected and tranquil.
- My loved one is an eternal, immortal soul who continues to live in another dimension more beautiful than the one in which I currently exist.
- Since my loved one is very well and far closer to his or her true divine nature, I can be glad for him/her and can give joy to myself and to those around me.
- Everything happens according to wise and just divine laws which give us the lessons we need for our spiritual evolution. For some reason, it was best for my loved one to move on to another level of existence and for me continue on here, without him or her.
- Everyone on this earth has lost loved ones. This is a natural and universal aspect of material existence.
- The departure of the soul from the restrictions of the temporary physical body is a beautiful liberation from a very limited incarnated state.
- The loss of my loved one is a great opportunity for spiritual development through the cultivation of inner power, tranquility, security and self-acceptance.
- I accept the perfection of the Divine Laws, and I release God, myself and all others for any responsibility for what is happening to me.
- My loved one would want me to be happy and to continue my life creatively and beautifully.
- I am a pure divine being and deserve unconditional love. I am acceptable, lovable and interesting as I am.
- The loss of a loved one is not related to guilt or punishment but, is instead, a great opportunity for spiritual development and inner growth.
- No one can be responsible for someone elses death. Each soul has selected the hour and the place when he or she will leave. Others are simply the instruments we use for our departure.
- I can, even now, correct my relationship with my loved one with inner communication and prayer.
- I open myself to my brothers and sisters in the family of humanity who are now sharing this planet. My loved one would want me to do so.
- I share with others my sorrow and joy.
- I find meaning in myself and my life by relating, serving, creating and evolving.
- Life is a divine gift and it is my duty to use it to benefit myself and others.
- Today, 40,000 parents have lost their children. Tomorrow, another 40, 000 parents will lose their children. I am not alone in pain. Departure from the physical body is a natural part of life on earth.
- There is one universal life force, expressing itself through all beings. The same consciousness that expressed itself through my loved one is now expressing itself through every being around me. When loving and offering to others, I love and offer to him/her as well.
In all of this bro remember – Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.